I used to be a very planned and organized person. Not my bedroom or my clothes, still today and I'm cool with that. But I hated being late to things. It drove me mental when people were late. Even after having all three kids I still didn't understand how people could be so nonchalant about being late. Not even a sorry? How rude. I would pride myself on being on time. Little did I know this part of my personality would be lost by circumstance, not by choice.
After my second on duty concussion (I am a police officer by trade, as I've said I do wear many hats) my life changed forever. Not only physically did I have to go through Post concussion Syndrome (Dizziness, migraines, fatigue, insomnia, tinnitus) with 3 young kids but it affected me mentally. At the time I didn't know what was wrong with me and actually believed I was having a heart attack at my workplace and right before bedtime) however turns out it was anxiety and panic attacks. In 2018 I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
It has taken me a lot of years to talk about it, let alone write about it but as a mom and a cop, I want other moms to know the day you get a mental health diagnosis and get the help you need and if you want to start sharing, there are other women just like you out there. I am one of them.
Why did I take so long to share my diagnosis? For me its because I was taught to not talk about "these things" and I was the captain on our family ship. I held it together...or so I thought. You do not have to go at it alone.
Today my life looks a lot different. I have an amazing health care team that works for me, not for the systems in place that make you feel like a number. I say yes to things that find me great joy and volunteer for things that I can do with the energy that I do have so I can try and balance my new normal. Although deemed "disabled," I do not look at myself that way. I celebrate the small wins and say YES to things like co-authoring books and starting my own brand LOSTANDFOUNDMOMMY . I act in my spare time, I mentor other women, I help others with their health and wellness goals and I try to be the best Mom and Wife I can be.
Now, if I make it on the right day, time its a huge win and thats with a written calendar, phone calendar, a phone call (if I can get one from whatever appt I have), voice notes, or my husband text reminders and lately even my 4 year old; "Mom did you give Zorro his shot?" yep the dog has diabetes.....add that to the many lists of calendars.
So to you other Women, moms, dog moms, catmoms.....say YES to you.
